I have pretended to be many things in hopes of finding an identity I could truly deem lovable. At some point in life the mask shattered and all that was left behind was anxiety, fear, and depression. Thoughts of my failures consumed any ambition or passion that previously existed. I was forced to sit with the most raw parts of my being. Forced to find a way to survive with myself, and be happy by myself. While the journey to self-love is still in the works for me, one thing I know for sure is that self-hate/doubt can no longer exist if I want to continue to grow. I start my days with gratitude for waking up, and declaring "I am love", "I am loved", and "I feel loved". I have 5 to 10 minutes of complete alone time everyday to breathe and listen to my heartbeat. At the end of the day it really is about survival of true self.