I was super inspired by a conversation I had with a couple of colleagues when we were discussing our marriages and struggles with partnerships. We are both therapist so we are always discussing relationships. My colleague made a great point when she stated, "A relationship should be full of encouragement and inspiration." I haven't thought on a deeper level what my relationship has to offer in encouragement and inspiration toward myself. I begin to think about the 12 year bond that I have to my husband. I realized that I know there is dependency on my husband but I think that i have always been ashamed of being "Dependent." I realized due to my childhood circumstances and my upbringing I have always been busy trying to prove to be the "Independent Woman!" It was kind of toxic because I have proven to be independent. I went to college, I worked, I got my Masters degrees, I have started my own business, I have amazing friendships, and a supportive family. There have been many interest and accomplishments I have had outside of my relationship. In this conversation it hit me that I had to think about what did I have to prove? After, our conversation I begin write a list on how my husband has been an inspiration to my life and how he encourages me.
My husband always cheers me on when I try something new
My husband has been there for all my accomplishments
My husband has been there for all the traumatic and loss events in my life
My husband encourages me and inspires me to be limitless
My husband inspires me to be not allow other peoples thoughts of me bring me down as it is not my issue
My husband has encouraged me to not allow fear to beat me
I will say every relationship has it's ups and it's down but it felt good to have the reminder that i have a help mate, soul mate, lover and friend. It's okay to say that we are apart of each others life and that I look forward to him being my rock! I look forward to sitting at the table discussing our goals, laughing because our child is growing too fast, paying bills, discussing our master plan, and building our legacy. We all know the Queen can get it all done herself but God blessed me with a support in my husband and I am grateful to have that nourishment.
Lastly, after writing my list on how my husband encourages and inspires me I felt stronger and I could not help but smile. I am a strong proud black woman who was able to have find her king. I believe in our reign and legacy will last always.
If you have an interesting story The Queen of Self Care by Fanya Love, MSW is always looking for Submissions. Please share your self care story, reflections, how - to submissions, and others to: Thequeenofselfcare@gmail.com